Strength in Numbers

strength in numbersI belong to a support group for widows called New Beginnings.  The purpose of this group isn’t to sit around and bemoan our mutual loss, but to talk out loud those things others don’t want to hear.  We admit to being part of an elite group, a group no one wants to be a member of, but once joined, are thankful for each other’s company.

For some it is the first time in a long time laughter found its way into our voices. By the end of the hour meeting we realize how good it is to laugh again. It is said that misery loves company and maybe this is true.  The camaraderie found in a group of this sort is irreplaceable. We draw strength from our common bond and are encouraged by the stories shared.

One of the things widows fear, is that things will never be the same again.  We not only grieve the loss of a partner and soul-mate, but we mourn other things that death took away.  Our friends will sometimes fade into the back ground.  Not knowing how to relate to us any longer they leave us alone.  Some tell about the relationships they had as a couple disappear, almost as if they were afraid of ‘catching’ something.

Another loss is financial stability. Most of the women in my group had their partner at their side for 10, 30 and even 60 years.  Difficult times were faced together.  Trouble had to take on both of them together, there was a safety in numbers.  Not so any more.  But, those of us who have more than a year under our belts are just starting to see that perhaps there can be a future.

hair partWhen I first thought of forming this exclusive group, I was thinking it needed to be focused on change.  I was looking in the mirror one morning and trying to get my hair to do what I wanted it to do.  All of a sudden I was inspired to part my hair on the other side.  Later that day thought occurred to me that this is just what I am looking for in the widows group.  We are all facing new normal’s in our life and just maybe it is time to ‘part our hair on the other side.’

It is time for me to change things up again. It is almost three three years since my husband died, so it is indeed time for me to see things from a new perspective. Life may be different, but it is still good.  Perhaps I should say ‘good once more.’  During the past three years I spent more time talking out loud in my home.  The silence was too much for me to live with so I began talking to God.  Okay, some days my dogs think I am talking to them, but my vocal conversations are really me talking things over with God.

The insight and faith I have gained during these little talks beefed up my trust in my Savior. He and I have a new relationship; I complain and He encourages me.  I question and He reassures me.  I cry out to Him and He comforts me.  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Grace ‘n Grins,

Judy