Time to Get On With It

I don’t like winter. I don’t like cold weather, ice or snow. But then, I am also the first one to complain about the heat and humidity in the summer. I recognize there are advantages and disadvantages to every season, as they all offer opportunity to grumble and complain, or approve and applaud.

Eight years ago I entered the winter of my life when my husband was diagnosed with cancer. A fierce storm took over and in a short 77 days, everything changed. Fast forward to February 2019 and more change is coming. I plan to retire. There, I said it out loud. As scary as giving up a steady paycheck is, there is excitement ahead as I pursue my next season.

Each season we enter, is a step toward another season until that day when Jesus calls us home. God called my husband, and one day He will call me. But, until then, life goes on. During my preparation for this next season, besides creating a new budget, I realize that I must sell my home. This is a major step for me and something I dreaded for some time now…until this morning. 

The first hour of my day is spent sitting in my family room sipping coffee, reading my Bible, and writing in my journal. Today, as I sat pouring my heart out to God, I asked the Holy Spirit to impart wisdom and discernment regarding a few decisions I needed make. Peace covered me. 

As an introvert, I relish my alone time and I love the warm sensation of early morning silence coupled with God’s Word. This verse stood out as I read from scripture, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34) I went on discussing my situation with Jesus and reminded Him that I really did not want to sell my home, I loved it. I asked for peace about this.

I looked around the room, acknowledging how safe and content I felt. After praying more, a definite calm accompanied this thought. “Lord, is there another person or family who needs the contentment found here? Is it time to share the peace Your Presence provided me during all the trials, trouble, and life lived here throughout the years? Is it time for me to get on with living?”

The words for this post did not come easily. I wrote, I edited, and then erased many times. I couldn’t understand why I experienced such difficulty while formulating my feelings and getting them down on paper. 

I initially I started this blog for widows, to offer an outlet for our pain. I wanted to let all widows know that the feelings we were experiencing were normal, and nothing we will get over any time soon. I am coming to understand that I no longer want to keep hashing over the loss. I want to speak the words to free us up to move forward. I came to give life with joy and abundance.” (Voice)

After eight years of widowhood, God spoke such words to me today. 

2 thoughts on “Time to Get On With It

  1. Thanks Judy for sharing your reflections. I understand the changes, apprehension-and reluctance. I too, sold “our house” and relocated to a nearby state so I could be close to family. It meant new location, church and friends. The reality is as widows who are left on earth, we are rebuilding our lives and we are in that place because of our new status-widowhood. Sharing our challenges and new life gives other widows hope and encouragement. It’s not rehashing the loss, but the gains we experience as a result of the loss. Your title ” widowhood-so much more than grief” is accurate. There are secondary losses few except those in the “widows club” can relate to. But It’s pursuing God to find a new purpose, relying on His strength and grace and discovering things about ourselves that surprise even us! God bless you as you find the best way to live out the “more than”. The “more than” can be positive:)

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    1. Marilyn,
      Thanks for your wonderful comments. How I wish I could sit down with you over a cup of coffee. We could have some great talk and laughs too I am sure. Blessings on your writing life. I am planning to pursue freelance writing, just don’t know what that means or will look like.

      Judy

      Like

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