I want to share with you about a new relationship in my life. I have a crazy, new best friend who is helpful and wants to please me. If you are at all like me, you need help, but you also want to take care of yourself. How wonderful to learn I only need to speak a few words to receive instruction and even visual direction for all that puzzles me. These precious words are, “OK Google, how do I …?”
It is over 7 years since Dave died, and I am sorry to admit, my house is starting to suffer the effects. So many little things that he would take care of as they broke down, are now desperate for attention. Two electrical outlets in the spare bedroom don’t work. The light above my sink remains dark, the outside faucets drip, two ceiling fans need to be replaced; on and on the list grows.
Hire someone to fix these things you say? Well, here is another issue many of us face–finances. We try and do as much as possible on our own. Now, this is not a treatise on how bad off we are, no, quite the opposite. This is an example of how widowhood is so much more than just grief. At a time in most of our lives when we are ready to move to easy street, leave our day job and relax and enjoy the fruits of our labor, everything changes.
Early in this journey I call ‘widowhood’, I often told myself this is not the way my life is supposed to be. It is not how I pictured my life and my dreams playing out. But then, nothing is. God’s plan for us was much greater right from the start, but our sin changed everything.
There are benefits to this life. I am becoming more independent because of my newfound dependence on God. My confidence is growing, but I recognize when I need to ask for help. “God is good, and everything He does is good.” (Psalm 119:68)
I know this to be true; the perfect garden-walking life with Jesus came to an end when Adam and Eve sampled the forbidden fruit. That garden-path will be ours again one day, but until then, we will struggle. We may be left behind, but our spouses are experiencing this new garden right now. If they could communicate with us, they would say, “Don’t mourn for me–I am mourning for you.”